Talk about going MIA. It's been a long time since I've wrote a post on here. I'll give you all a recap of the insanity that was junior year, and fill you in on what's coming up! Bear with me, there's a lot to catch up on.
Junior year started and ended in two VERY different places. This has, without a doubt, been the most difficult and trying year of my life. But I also know that I've grown more throughout this school year than any other year before. I feel like a much different person than I was walking into junior year, and I'm glad I changed.
Teaching- I've always loved writing, and dreamed about being a writer. However, I never thought it was something obtainable. I left that dream to other people, why would I be able to make that happen? I don't know if it was a part of maturing and growing up, or some miraculous burst of confidence, but I realized how stupid I was being by letting that dream go. So, I changed my attitude and actively started to pursue opportunities to get me closer to that dream. Beginning junior year I threw myself into hunting for internships, so much so, I lost count of how many I applied for. I ended up being incredibly lucky landing two internships, one being the internship of a lifetime. Now I get to spend most of the summer in NYC working with the most incredible start up company doing what I love most. I NEVER in a million years would have thought I would get an opportunity like this. It's left me feeling pretty lucky. Teaching in still on the radar. I know I'll teach at some point because it's also one of my biggest passions, but now I'm not so sure it's going to be my first move. But, I did make it to the final interviews for Teach for America, so that's exciting. Fingers crossed I get accepted, I'm all about having options. Stay tuned...
UH, can you say stress? Throughout the school year I called my mom multiple times asking her if I was dying, because that's really how it felt. Between 17-18 credit hours each semester, 8 hours a week worth of teaching practicum, working 10 hours a week, plus extracurriculars, and this semester, two internships on top of all of that. The saying, "There aren't enough hours in the day" never felt so true. I've never been more proud of myself for making it through a school year in one piece. Even though it was stressful, I think I learned a lot about myself. Mostly, I learned that I really am capable of much more than I give myself credit for. I learned how to be confident, because sometimes that's the only choice you have. I learned how to make things happen for myself; to be relentless. I learned that in those moments when you feel like completely giving up, you can find some of the most magic can happen. But most of all, I learned who to trust. Who will always be there for you, and who wont. Probably one of the most valuable lessons you can learn.
That lesson didn't come easy, but I'm glad it came. I'm someone who always backs down. I rarely stand up for myself, or stand up to especially shitty people. I allow people to stay in my life who really don't deserve to be a part of it. And I let people treat me as less than. Well, through the experiences I had with some people this year, I decided enough was enough. There is nothing wrong with letting people go from your life who aren't adding anything positive. People who continually make you feel terrible, or bring negative energy into almost every situation, are just downright toxic people. I'm proud of myself for realizing my worth, and choosing to remove that energy from my life, and put my energy into people who actually want to be my friend, not sometimes, but always. Never be a temporary friend.
UNCERTAINTY! From money, to "Oh my God I picked the wrong major" and everything in between, there's been so much doubt this year it's unreal. But, in the end I think it's all worked out. I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm going to do, when I'm going to do it, and how it's going to happen. Guess what, life never goes as planned. I really learned how to "wing it" this year better than ever before, so that's pretty great. I've finally accepted that life isn't always going to go how I imagine it to. I know, I'm kinda slow to that realization...
Despite being insanely stressful, I actually did the best I've ever done in school this year. Not that that'll matter in five years from now, but it's pretty cool at the moment. I've become much more confident in my writing (mostly thanks to some key people who continually encourage me. You know who you are). I've found a belief in myself and my talents, that I am good at things, that I'm not as stupid as I always think I am, and that I'll hopefully do some cool things in life!
I learned to appreciate the good so much more than I have. As my college years are coming to a close, I know I'll most likely soon be leaving Colorado, and in turn, leaving the people I care about most. I appreciate my family now more than ever and want to spend every minute I can with them.
I just feel really different. In a good way. And I know this summer will be another huge learning experience. Being all on my own in NYC for two months, AH! Will she survive... lol I'm excited for the future, more so now than ever before. There's so much to look forward to, and I can't wait to see what happens.
So, that's a little bit of how my year went! Also, shout out to new friends who bring so much light into my life. I'm grateful for you.
I'll be writing a weekly blog post from here on out, keeping you all up to date with the fun stuff that goes down during this internship experience. Here's to new beginnings, new adventures, and a new Nicole.
Love you all xoxo
Junior year started and ended in two VERY different places. This has, without a doubt, been the most difficult and trying year of my life. But I also know that I've grown more throughout this school year than any other year before. I feel like a much different person than I was walking into junior year, and I'm glad I changed.
Teaching- I've always loved writing, and dreamed about being a writer. However, I never thought it was something obtainable. I left that dream to other people, why would I be able to make that happen? I don't know if it was a part of maturing and growing up, or some miraculous burst of confidence, but I realized how stupid I was being by letting that dream go. So, I changed my attitude and actively started to pursue opportunities to get me closer to that dream. Beginning junior year I threw myself into hunting for internships, so much so, I lost count of how many I applied for. I ended up being incredibly lucky landing two internships, one being the internship of a lifetime. Now I get to spend most of the summer in NYC working with the most incredible start up company doing what I love most. I NEVER in a million years would have thought I would get an opportunity like this. It's left me feeling pretty lucky. Teaching in still on the radar. I know I'll teach at some point because it's also one of my biggest passions, but now I'm not so sure it's going to be my first move. But, I did make it to the final interviews for Teach for America, so that's exciting. Fingers crossed I get accepted, I'm all about having options. Stay tuned...
UH, can you say stress? Throughout the school year I called my mom multiple times asking her if I was dying, because that's really how it felt. Between 17-18 credit hours each semester, 8 hours a week worth of teaching practicum, working 10 hours a week, plus extracurriculars, and this semester, two internships on top of all of that. The saying, "There aren't enough hours in the day" never felt so true. I've never been more proud of myself for making it through a school year in one piece. Even though it was stressful, I think I learned a lot about myself. Mostly, I learned that I really am capable of much more than I give myself credit for. I learned how to be confident, because sometimes that's the only choice you have. I learned how to make things happen for myself; to be relentless. I learned that in those moments when you feel like completely giving up, you can find some of the most magic can happen. But most of all, I learned who to trust. Who will always be there for you, and who wont. Probably one of the most valuable lessons you can learn.
That lesson didn't come easy, but I'm glad it came. I'm someone who always backs down. I rarely stand up for myself, or stand up to especially shitty people. I allow people to stay in my life who really don't deserve to be a part of it. And I let people treat me as less than. Well, through the experiences I had with some people this year, I decided enough was enough. There is nothing wrong with letting people go from your life who aren't adding anything positive. People who continually make you feel terrible, or bring negative energy into almost every situation, are just downright toxic people. I'm proud of myself for realizing my worth, and choosing to remove that energy from my life, and put my energy into people who actually want to be my friend, not sometimes, but always. Never be a temporary friend.
UNCERTAINTY! From money, to "Oh my God I picked the wrong major" and everything in between, there's been so much doubt this year it's unreal. But, in the end I think it's all worked out. I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm going to do, when I'm going to do it, and how it's going to happen. Guess what, life never goes as planned. I really learned how to "wing it" this year better than ever before, so that's pretty great. I've finally accepted that life isn't always going to go how I imagine it to. I know, I'm kinda slow to that realization...
Despite being insanely stressful, I actually did the best I've ever done in school this year. Not that that'll matter in five years from now, but it's pretty cool at the moment. I've become much more confident in my writing (mostly thanks to some key people who continually encourage me. You know who you are). I've found a belief in myself and my talents, that I am good at things, that I'm not as stupid as I always think I am, and that I'll hopefully do some cool things in life!
I learned to appreciate the good so much more than I have. As my college years are coming to a close, I know I'll most likely soon be leaving Colorado, and in turn, leaving the people I care about most. I appreciate my family now more than ever and want to spend every minute I can with them.
I just feel really different. In a good way. And I know this summer will be another huge learning experience. Being all on my own in NYC for two months, AH! Will she survive... lol I'm excited for the future, more so now than ever before. There's so much to look forward to, and I can't wait to see what happens.
So, that's a little bit of how my year went! Also, shout out to new friends who bring so much light into my life. I'm grateful for you.
I'll be writing a weekly blog post from here on out, keeping you all up to date with the fun stuff that goes down during this internship experience. Here's to new beginnings, new adventures, and a new Nicole.
Love you all xoxo